


Adventures in Greece

by Who_First



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU - Comicverse, Greek and Roman Mythology
Genre: Drabble Collection, F/M, M/M, Sirens, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-01-29
Updated: 2012-01-28
Packaged: 2017-10-30 06:47:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/328934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Who_First/pseuds/Who_First
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Series of drabbles involving Tim meeting Hades on vacation</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Tim was only vacationing in Greece because the Italian police were after him. Why is a totally different story. Even then he was only waiting for his partner in crime to show up, _damnit Dick stop flirting with the Italian models already and get over here_ , and then he could leave the place that was giving him a very bad feeling.

Normally having a bad feeling was okay. Tim got bad feelings everywhere he went it was part of being a paranoid Bat. But there was paranoia and there was ‘if I don’t leave right now the police are going to kick down the door and arrest me in the nude’. The feeling he was getting at the edge of the island overlooking the admittedly gorgeous Aegean Sea was one of the latter.

When the earth opened up and the water close to shore started boiling Tim swore that he would desecrate all of Dick’s favorite clothing and draw a moustache on his face in permanent marker.

Tim had met Diana many times, liked her in fact, and had gotten into a lot of conversations about her gods. Which meant that Tim did in fact recognize the man standing in the pitch black chariot with the fire breathing horses. Even if it took a moment because it was understandable that Tim get distracted by fire breathing horses. Anyone would.

“Timothy Drake,” and the god was smiling, _if that’s supposed to be comforting you need to work on it_ , as he stepped down walking towards the young man. “You are more beautiful than even the Fates describe.”

“Oh.” Tim really wanted to say something cool or snarky but his brain seemed to shut down the closer the man got.

“I have chosen you to accompany me to the Underworld and live with me as my Consort.”

_Because that would be such an honor._

“Don’t you have a wife?” Tim managed to ask as his arm was lightly touched and his whole body reacted to be pulled towards the chariot.

“One can never have too many wives.” The god was waving a hand and all Tim wanted to do was _lick_ it because for the Lord of the Dead he was seriously built and _hot_.

“I’m a guy.” Tim felt it was necessary to point this out even as he was being lifted into the chariot made from shadows, _and it was way too early in their relationship for the hand cupping him!_

“A very beautiful one my love. Come. Eternity awaits!”


	2. Timmy Sandwich

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex hijinks

“Oh darling he’s adorable!”

Tim stared at the tall woman flitting around him, she sort of resembled a lightning bug, masses of blond curls falling down her shoulders but clothed in a light sucking black gown.

“Then he meets with your approval?” Hades’ arm tightened around Tim’s waist, _his naked waist and where did his clothing go?,_ as he spoke to the pretty woman.

“Of course.” She kissed Hades cheek before stopping in front of Tim and carefully looking him up and down, a soft smile spilling over her face before she leaned forwards to kiss his cheek as well.

Tim was not at all comforted that there wasn’t enough blood left in his cheeks to blush at her kiss or her assessing gaze. He almost flinched as she trailed a finger along his chin and neck.

 ”You must be Timothy.” She smiled again, glowing in her happiness, “Hades has watched you for quite some time. You’re even cuter in person.”

“Ahh thank you ma’am.”

“Timothy this is Persephone, my other wife.” Hades kissed the side of Tim’s throat, holding the boy’s hand out for Persephone to kiss.

“I’m not you wife,” Tim didn’t snarl it, he could already tell that this was going to be repeated for a long time. “I’m male remember.”

“Wife, consort, lover. It is all the same in the end.” Hades purred, sweeping Tim close to his side with one arm and doing the same to Persephone on his other side.

“I am your boyfriend?” Tim snickered, which trailed off quickly when both immortals sent him questioning looks. “Sorry, cultural reference.”

“It is of no importance.”

Hades moved like smoke, or shadows, Tim discovered. He couldn’t feel the ground under his feet as the god steered him down hallways. But there were so many interesting things he could see, he didn’t pay attention to Persephone’s golden laugh or Hades dark chuckling.

“My young lover seems enamored of his surroundings.”

Tim looked up at the smug tone, Hades grinning down at him before swooping in for the kill. The kiss was every bit as good as Tim thought it would be, but a man with eternity behind should at least know how to kiss, Tim reasoned.

Hades tilted Tim’s chin more, necking aching as a hand fisted in his hair, making the kiss wetter, and all reasoning went out the window. Tim shuddered against the hard muscled chest, hands grasping at the gods robes while his limbs turned to jelly, while the smoky tongue plunged into his mouth and took over.

Hands rubbed down his back, his chest was pressed to tightly against his god to let that happen, and squeezed his ass. Tim moaned harder as teeth bit at his lip while fingers scratched through his hair. So what if there was clearly more than one person molesting him; it _felt good_.

Hades finally broke away, Tim collapsing panting against his chest, grinning down at the boy.

“Precious, relax.” Tim was guessing this was directed at him, since Hades proceeded to lift him into a bridal carry, before continuing to stride down the long hallway.

“He’s so cute,” Persephone was playing with his bare feet, finger nails dragging lightly across arching feet, and giggling as Tim jerked.

The bedroom was huge, great hall huge, including the enormous bed. It made Tim wonder if Hades had any other consorts or maybe just the occasional orgy. All whisper soft sheets and cushions scattered around the bed Tim was dropped onto, barely noticeable against his skin. Persephone landed next to him, Greek style dress gone, and Tim could only watch as Hades’ robes dispersed into mist. Now _that_ was a handy trick. Then Hades was moving over him, covering Tim’s smaller body, pressing him hard enough to feel the soft sheets beneath them, hard hands catching his waist.

Then the thick, heavy, male hands were pulling his thighs apart hard enough it was just this side of painful but Persephone was moving beside him. Thin, _burning wet_ , fingers dancing across Tim’s chest, sliding down his body to probe at the aching wrinkled entrance, before they delved inwards making Tim arch at the sudden, _wonderful more please more_ , intrusion. The fourth hand, Persephone’s thin long fingers, curved around his face to press in his mouth, both of her sets of fingers _stroking_ inside him at once.

She moved quickly, abandoning both his mouth and ass and leaving both feeling unbearably empty, grabbing one of Tim’s shaking hands and pressing it against her own trembling folds of heated flesh. Warm wet, _dripping_ , flesh. _And she was swallowing his erection_.

 Tim wriggled, arching against the bed, as Persephone sucked and chewed at the head of his cock. Another hand joined Tim’s hand, much thicker fingers joining in penetrating Persephone, curling around Tim’s smaller fingers. She was sucking harder, keeping Tim’s attention occupied, holding him still as Hades made his move.

Slipping inside Tim’s tight ass, a hand coiling around Persephone’s neck and clamping into Tim’s hip, nails digging into his skin, as Hades stilled. Tim could feel his chest heaving, too many conflicting feelings screeching through his veins, as Hades started moving.

Every, _glorious_ , stretch of muscle as Hades stabbed forwards, sending sparks of pure pleasured addiction through Tim’s veins, every motion stabbing into Tim’s prostate. Too many hands traveling over his body, pinching pulling at fevered flesh, while Persephone clenched and loosened wetly around Tim’s fingers.

Persephone was swallowing his shaft, _singing_ around it, honey brown eyes laughing at Tim as he shrieked. And Tim was cumming _so_ _hard_ he was _screaming,_ voice breaking, as Hades went in and out, harder and faster with each soul shattering stroke.

Tim was still gasping heavily as Persephone released his spent erection, Tim’s and slipping out of her, and slithered up his limp body for a kiss. Tim panted against her mouth, tasting his own cum combined with her sweet taste, he could feel her settling on top of him, pinning him in place with heavy breasts and strong arms.

Then Hades was moving again, and he couldn’t track the god’s movement, until Persephone moaned long and happily into his mouth. Tim shuddered as Persephone draped herself over his limp body, burying her squealing mouth against his neck, fingers digging into his hair as she arched up against his chest to kiss Tim.

Hades moved inside her just as quickly as he had inside Tim, dragging her up and down Tim’s body so that she could kiss the boy further, before dragging her tongue down his neck and chest as Hades retreated. Then Persephone was surging forwards again, sharp little teeth nipping at his neck, cheeks, lips, anything she could reach while one of Hades’ hands curled around Tim’s neck, forcing them into harder kissing.

Whimpering _, too much_!, Persephone was dragging along already sensitive skin, Tim could feel every one of Hades’ thrusts inside her. Persephone was pressed so hard against Tim; he could _feel_ every stroke of Hades’ cock inside her. She was so wet and dragging across his skin

Then the death god was leaning over bright gold curls and taking control of Tim’s gasping mouth, timing the thrusts of his tongue with each stroke of Persephone dragging up her way up Tim’s wrecked body. Then it was her turn to start screaming, biting harder into his chest her hands tightening in his hair, and Tim could feel her gushing around Hades’ and against Tim’s own limp flesh.

Tim jerked, reflex at this point, as Persephone went limp against him mouthing at his shoulder, while Hades pushed fingers back inside him moving in and out slowly. From the way Persephone suddenly bit against his shoulder, Hades was probably stroking inside her as well.

“If you don’t stop, I’ll die of heart failure.” Tim gasped lying under a sweaty Persephone while Hades was fingering both of his consorts harder, leaning over the two, kissing both.

“It is physically impossible to die in the underworld.” Hades purred into Tim’s ear.

Two pairs of teeth bit at either side of Tim’s neck making him whimper.

“I’ll pass out from exhaustion and never wake up.” Tim muttered, _what were words again?_ , pleasure was starting to build again and he could feel Persephone’s nipples hardening against his chest.

“We should try anyway,” Persephone’s voice was breathy and desperate as she spoke, squirming above Tim. Tim sighed against her skin before saying;

“I hear practice makes perfect.”


	3. Greek-in-law

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick meets Tim's new wife

“This is Persephone my-“

“What happened to your clothes? What are you wearing?”

 Dick was staring at Tim in shock, admittedly Tim was wearing a long black Grecian style dress, but his older brother really needed to work on his manners. He was trying to introduce his new family to his old thank you very much.

“Ah. My clothing didn’t survive the ride down. Persephone was nice enough to lend me some of hers.”

“You’re wearing a dress little brother.”

 _Sometimes I wonder about your observation skills Dick_.

“Keep with the program Dick. The dress is not important.”

“Sorry Tim it’s just… very dress like.” Dick finally looked up at the beautiful woman in a similar dress. “Sorry I’m Dick Grayson, it’s a pleasure to meet such a beautiful woman, maybe I can take out for dinner as apology for ignoring you?”

 _I’d hate to see you_ die _Dick._

“Oh I’m afraid that wouldn’t be the best idea.” Persephone raised a hand to her mouth, not hiding the giggle very well, before curling the gold hair falling around her face. “I’m afraid my husband is very possessive.”

“Dick.” Tim’s hand was against his face and he was counting to ten. In Greek since he needed to practice  more. “Stop flirting and pay attention. This is Persephone. My wife.”

“What?!” Dick’s jaw dropped open as he looked between his tiny brother, in a dress, and the tall _smoking hot_ blond now patting Tim’s hand in sympathy.

“Timmy did you fall? Hurt your head somehow?”

“I did fall but no I didn’t hurt my head.” Tim eye’s glazed over as he remembered the ride to the Underworld. “Actually it was a very stable ride since the horses weren’t actually touching any ground.”

Dick didn’t need to know that Tim had been too busy with his new husband on the way down to actually pay attention.

“It’s just one of those things, Timothy darling.” Persephone cooed and continued petting his hair. “He has a magic touch.”

 _He really does_.

“Wait husband?” Dick was looking between them frantically, before grabbing Tim around the shoulders and half shook him. “You married a married woman?”

“No Dick.” Tim sighed and pushed at his brothers hands. “I’m married to Persephone and her husband.”

“Sweetie wanted to marry him,” Persephone agreed, “But he asked me first if it would be okay. When I met Timothy he was just so lovely and sweet that I decided to marry him too.”

 _Well… more or less…_ Tim rolled his eyes as Persephone hugged him again.

Dick’s face was white and he seemed to be in shock.

“Timothy, is your brother ill?”

“No. He’s just trying to understand how I got married to two people so quickly.” Though Dick really did look sick.

“But… you can’t get married you’re not an adult yet!”

“Dick.” Tim sighed again. “Just calm down, the world isn’t ending. Shouldn’t you be happy for me?”

“Yes… but…”

The earth rumbling and birds fleeing was Tim’s cue to get to the point.

“It’s okay Dick, you’ll have plenty of time to get used to the idea.”

The dark haired man strode forwards imperiously, wrapping a hand around Tim and Persephone’s waist.

“Dick this is my husband, Hades.”


	4. Do not meddle in the affair of gods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diana and Persephone talk

Diana, the princess of the Amazons, the superhero known as Wonder Woman and she was reduced to this.

She sighed heavily an called for patience as she waited for Hades to come out and explain his new plan for world domination. Come to think of it he seemed to be running late today.

“Oh Diana!” The tall golden haired woman waltzing into the room looked surprised. “I didn’t realize you were here.”

“Hello Lady Persephone.” Diana actually liked Persephone, the goddess was sweet, easy to get along with, and never held a grudge about the times random superheros beat up her husband.

“Please call me Perse. I’ve told you this before dear Diana.” The goddess pouted. “Oh that must be why they’re fighting.”

“Fighting?” Diana looked up from where she’d been eyeing the magical ropes in case she might be able to bite through the. Probably not likely.

“Yes my husbands are fighting in the other room over something, I thought  it best to leave before I got caught up in the argument, but now I suppose Hades must have been plotting again. I am so sorry he causes you trouble Princess.”

“Oh it’s no problem my Lady.” Diana blinked. “Husbands?”

“Oh you haven’t heard the happy news!” Persephone danced forwards and sat on Diana’s lap. Which was very wrong considering the Lay was a goddess and giggling on her lap like a child.

“Hades found a new consort so we both married him, oh he’s so adorable Princess, I want to eat him up every time I see him!”

“Oh.” This was said weakly, due to shock and Persephone was a tall built to match woman. “Congratulations my Lady.”

“Thank you!” Persephone was grinning and looking ecstatic. “Timmy is the sweetest boy I’m so happy he agreed to marriage.”

“Agree? Lady was it like your own marriage to Hades?” Meaning of course being randomly kidnapped and told you were now the wife of the Lord of the Dead.

“Oh no!” Persephone bit her lip as she stood. “Well a little. They worked it out though.”

“Really. May I talk with him?” Diana paused a sudden feeling of foreboding coming over her as she felt Hades’ strong presence stalking towards her. “What did you say his name was?”

“Timothy Drake.”

“Oh did you stop fighting?” Persephone looked pleased, sashaying over to her ‘husbands’.

Diana looked, anger and amusement warring when she saw the resigned look on Hades voice, the death gods’ arm around a pretty doll like young man who had a victorious smug look on his face.

“Tim?!”

“Hello Ms. Diana,” Tim aimed another smug look at the god holding his waist and scowling. “It’s good to see you again, I would like to talk, but Hades has something he needs to say.”

“Yes…” Hades _stared at his feet_ , until Tim viciously jabbed him in the ribs. “Ah yes. Princess Diana… I would like to… _apologize_ … for any interruption of your day.” Another sharp jab made him add. “And for trying to take over the world.”

Apologize was of course said with enough resentment that Diana expected the two consorts, _Tim Drake_!, hanging off his arms to burst into flames. And she hadn’t realized Hades even knew how to roll his eyes at the ruling the world part. Tactfully she decided to not mention hearing Hades mutter that he would be better at it than anyone else.

“Well…” Of course that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to savor the red faced god apologizing for causing problems. “Apology accepted.”

“Oh good, it’s so nice when everyone gets along.” Persephone kissed Hades’ cheek before doing the same to Tim. “Now we should all sit down for some tea, Tim’s been teaching me all about it, and it’s so tasty.” Persephone added walking back to Diana.

“I’m sure the Princess would love to stay,” Hades drawled, the arm around Tim tightening, “But she probably has other matters to attend to.”

“Ahh,” The look Hades was giving her said very clearly that she had better have other things to attend to. “I am sorry my Lady, but your… first husband is correct.”

“It was good to see you again Diana.” Tim grinned at her, winking where Hades’couldn’t see. “I’m sure we’ll talk later.”

“Yes.” You can be sure of that Timothy Drake. “I’ll see you later.”


	5. Greek Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kon and Tim and the Sirens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Present for Meyari

“Tim have you seen these girls?”

Tim thought it was more important that he might need to stick Kon’s eyeballs back in his skull.

“They’re _hot_! Look at those breasts!”

 _Was Kon drooling_? Tim glanced sideways at his best friend. _Yep that was drool_.

“Kon they’re Sirens.” Tim eyed the naked, and extremely hot, women splashing around the rocks they were sitting on. “You really shouldn’t flirt with them. They eat people.”

One pressed up against the rock, large breasts heaving, long dark green hair swirling around her in the water and solid gold eyes sparkling up at Tim. Fangs, not actually blood stained happily, were bared in a smug grin.

Tim was quite thankful that Persephone has spelled them both to keep from properly hearing the sirens.

 _Not that that kept Kon from drooling over naked breasts_.

“You’re being mean Tim.” Kon grinned, would have leaned closer if Tim wasn’t pinching his ear, at the green haired Siren. “I bet they’d only eat me in the fun way.”

“I think have a pet octupus.” Tim rolled his eyes at Kon. “Would you play with that too?”

“What? Ewww.” Kon backed up some, much to the Siren’s dissapointment. “Seriously man? Don’t be like that.”

“I’m just looking out for you. I’d hate to have to tell Cassie that you were eaten because you couldn’t stop staring at the Sirens.”

“That’s low.” Kon pouted, giveing Tim his carefully practiced puppy dog eyes. “I thought we were pals, Tim.”

“Which is way I’m not letting them eat you.” Tim sighed. “How is everyone?”

“Oh they’re all good, miss you,” Kon tackled Tim in a death hug. “Cassie wants to know why’d you’d get married to Hades.”

“Really good sex.” Tim’s mouth twitched watching Kon turn pink.

“Sex! If it’s just sex you should run away with me.” Kon pouted again, giving Tim a sloppy kiss on the cheek, before letting his friend up. “Everyone knows I’m the best sex you’ll ever get.”

“I’m sure the Sirens would think that too. Until they moved onto the next man.”

“Hah. Thanks Tim you’re a real pal.”


	6. In-Laws

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom and Kon meet some of Tim's new in-laws

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gift for Meyari

“I still think we should have gotten their phone numbers.”

“Sirens Kon. I’m rather sure they don’t have phones.”

“Huh. Yeah they probably wouldn’t work under water.”

“Probably not.” Tim agreed sending Kon a wry look.

“Greetings.”

Tim and Kon both froze at the low feminine voice behind them. Turning around showed that the voice belonged to an athletic looking woman, complete with bow and arrow, standing half clothed next to a large stag.

“Wow…”

“Ah hello. My Lady.” Tim spared a glare at Kon, who was of course staring at the perky breast not covered by the half tunic, before inclining his head at what had to be a goddess.

“I am Artemis.”

 _Oh. Kon please don’t start flirting. That’s the Virgin Goddess of Hunting_.

Sadly Kon never listened to Cassie’s stories or had suddenly developed the power to read minds. This was evidenced by his best friend starting to drool, _again_ , and step forwards.

“Oh, it’s good to meet you Lady Artemis,” Tim very subtly kicked Kon’s knee, glaring death if he tried flirting. “I’m Timothy Drake and this is Kon-El.”

 _Or Kon prey-for-the-hunt if he didn’t stop eyeing her_.

“Yes.” She looked stiffly amused, and seemed to have decided to ignore Kon. For the best really. “My uncle’s new consort.”

 _Uh-oh_.

“I had wanted to meet the mortal capable of charming Hades.” Her expression said this was doubtful. Or that she wasn’t impressed. Tim was also having a few problems meeting her eyes.

“I’m sorry if that upset you. But he found me.” At his side Tim could feel Kon standing straighter. At least he was never fully distracted by naked breasts.

“Are you insinuating that a _God_ is not enough for a mere mortal?”

Oh hell. Put the bow down, everyone knows you have the biggest dick here.

“No. If I was against it I wouldn’t have married him.” Tim stood straight. Not even the gods could make him do something he was against.

“Good.”

Artemis smiled, nature blossoming and little white bunnies coming out of hiding, bowing deeply before Tim. The bow and arrows vanished somewhere, obviously not into her clothes, and the stag started chewing at the grass.

“I was informed that you had been a vigilante. I feared that you had agreed to Hades consort as an act of sacrifice hoping to quell his thoughts of world domination.”

Tim blinked and Kon started snickering.

“Well…. I will try and _discourage_ him from trying to take over, but I hadn’t thought of that.” Tim blushed, it _hadn’t_ actually occurred to him, which was not Bat like at all. Tim was almost ashamed.

“Acceptable practice for any consort. Persephone never bothers; it will be good for him to have a strong willed consort.”

“I hope so.”

The goddess nodded again, gave Kon a very suspicious look, before fading away into the tree line.

“Did you see her?!”

“Yes Kon. Did the part where she was a goddess escape you?” Tim sighed.

“First the water chicks and now her! I should move to Greece.

“I think you would be thrown out.”

“It’s cause I’m so hot right? I’d totally steal all the hot women. The guys too.” Kon paused, clearly lost in dreamland by his expression. “Wait. Isn’t she the virgin goddess? Maybe I could teach her to love.”

“I will bring flowers to your funeral.”

~~~

An hour later they were back in civilization, in a library which made Tim ecstatic and Kon not so much, when another woman showed up. Tim had to give her props on her entrance, all the books rustling and hooting owls, catching their attention before she appeared between the stacks.

“Timothy Drake.”

At his side Kon perked up, the woman after all was tall and lovely even with the stern expression on her face, Tim on the other hand, sensed imminent danger. She was obviously another goddess and well Tim didn’t want to deal with her right now. _This was Kon time, go away. Shoo_.

“Yes Lady?” _Go away please, I’ve already dealt with extra immortals today_!

“I am the Goddess Athena. You have been bonded to Hades.”

“I have.”

“I am curious as to a mortal that would bond to a God.”

Tim glared and stiffened ready to lash out until on slung an arm around his neck.

“Tim don’t be rude to the pretty lady.” Kon was grinning, and patted Tim’s head, before sketching a half bow. “I’m Kon, the hot best friend. And single.”

“It’s good to meet you Kon.” Grey eyes smiled, _she’s faking Kon back away!_ , “So nice to know that even those warriors not _interested_ in wisdom would still find me useful.”

Tim paused, Kon doing the same beside him, and tried to work out that statement. Laughter erupted from Tim’s throat as he set about giggling in front of the Goddess of Wisdom and War, he was pretty sure Athena had just called Kon a fighter only interested in breasts. In her own special way.

“Kon, she’s a goddess of wisdom, she’s not interested going out with you. I’m sure she is here for a reason.” Tim added, grinning wider as Kon pouted heavily, glancing back at the goddess, who nodded in turn.

“I apologize for sounding harsh.” Athena smiled secretively, grey eyes sparkling, “But I was saddened by a young mind, such as yours, bonding Hades.”

“That won’t keep me from thinking.” Tim frowned.

“Yeah nothing can do that,” Kon snorted, still pouting. “Tim’s got like a super computer for a brain.”

“Indeed, I was merely concerned that young Timothy might not be allowed outside of the bedroom.”

She vanished with that, leaving a very smug feeling in the room, and two stunned young men.

~~~

After visits from two Greek goddess Tim was… stiffly…awaiting more. Always be prepared for bad things, a Bat motto. Which is why Tim was eyeing the suspicious street magician doing tricks a few feet away from them. At least he wasn’t a mime. Mimes were evil.

“You think they’re timing this?” Kon was sitting cross legged on the raised garden wall. He perked up as the street magician produced bunches of roses for the children giggling around him. “I mean even you don’t have luck that bad in the same day.”

“Thanks Kon.” Tim’s eyes narrowed as the magician produced a chirping robin and grinned up at him. “You know it’s probably cheating using godly powers.”

The magician bowed to the children before moving towards the vigilantes.

“A robin for a Robin?”

Tim eyed the squeaking bird in a brown calloused hand.

“That’s so cool!” Kon leaned forward one finger hovering over the birds head. “Man he’s almost as cute as you are in the Robin suit.”

“All birds are beautiful in their own ways. Hermes. I’m the God of Travelers, Thieves, Tricks, and Pranks.” The curly haired young man bowed, bird flying up to his shoulder, grin nearly splitting his face as he kissed both Tim’s and Kon’s hands.

“I’m honored to meet you.” Tim finally grinned at the robin, running back and forth on the gods’ broad shoulders, and chirping some tune. “You’re not allowed to talk to him Kon.”

“Tim!” That was the saddest most _hurt_ look Kon had ever given him.

“No.”

“Ahh,” Hermes had the same almost disappointed look on his face. Ruined by the grin still stretching his face. “Do you not enjoy tricks? It’s a hard life without humor.”

“Humor doesn’t have to be tricks.”

“They’re fun though, don’t lie Tim you do you fair share of tricks, he spike my shampoo with Nair!”

Hermes cracked up laughing while Tim blushed.

“And he said it was my own fault for having such a lousy haircut!” Kon snorted running a hand over his short even dark hair.

“It was an awful haircut.” Tim couldn’t help the giggle.

“Yeah whatever.” Kon grinned in delight as the bright red robin flew to Tim’s shoulder.

“My little friend likes you.” Hermes looked relaxed. “I guess you aren’t totally hopeless and it’ll be nice having someone talk back to Hades.”

Tim shrugged, blinking in surprise as the little robin shrunk into a pin, then watched as deft hands stole the pin and went about attaching it to his collar.

“Sweetest Persephone is easily distracted, but I don’t think you’ll be, so life should be more interesting now. But a token for luck.”

“I bet they all do that.” Kon said, watching the god break apart into a golden firework pattern and vanish.

“Dramatics must run in the family.”

~~~

“I know you.”

Both teens frozeas a huge man stepped out of the shadows before them and _loomed_. Kon’s hands raised to press against his ears, and Tim could swear he heard screaming and gunfire. The heavily armored man bent down to stare at Tim from inches away, interrupting his thoughts.

“Have I tried to kill you? You look familiar.”

“Okay you know what? Back off,” Kon pushed Tim behind him, hands curling into fists and puffing his chest up, glaring at the massive man. Kon could puff very well, much like Selina in that area, looking like a pissed off fluffy cat. A cat the size of a _saber tooth tiger_ with fangs longer than Tim’s arm.

“You must be Ares the God of War.” Tim’s lips thinned, he could sound a war going on around him, he matched Cassie’s description, and well he exuded the same inhuman air the other gods had.

“Cassie’s questionable provider.”

“Cassie…” Ares frowned in thought, one hand stroking his dark beard, looking through Kon at Tim, lips bared and showing sharp looking teeth.

“You gave her a whip.” Kon half grinned at the word whip. At the sight of that grin Tim resolved to never let the thing touch him if it gave Kon _that_ look when he remembered it.

“Right, the new wonder child.” Ares grinned wider, reminding Tim of a shark or any apex predator, in this case a god truly would be the top predator. “Useful thing.”

The god took a step forwards, one hand raised to push Kon aside, cruel lips sneering.

“But you’re not useful,” The god sneered again. “Not in war… Maybe in something else.”

“Back off.” Kon was pushing Tim back more.

“Or what.”

“I’ve met a few gods today,” Tim moved around Kon, chin held high, staring down the dark man. “And it goes without saying Hades. What makes you think none of them would show up this second if I called?”

Ares gave Tim a long look, eyes narrowed in irritation, before sneering and vanishing. Tim sighed, even Kon seemed to relax, as the sounds of conflict and death vanished. Someone, god or not, like that was not safe to be around. 

“You know Tim, I like most of your in-law’s but that one’s a real bastard.” Kon was still glaring into the shadows, and everything else that was around them, probably waiting for a sneak attack.

“Sadly I think he was one of the few to be from Zeus and Hera.” Tim exhaled deeply, adrenaline still pumping wildly through his veins. “Therefore not a bastard.”

“Don’t think the rest of your family’s gonna care.”

“No probably not.” Tim leaned against his best friend. “I think it will be worth the evil relatives though.”

“Hope so,” Kon shuffled his feet as they continued walking, throwing one arm around Tim’s shoulders, face blushing. “You um… deserve someone special. Or two someone’s special.”

“Thanks Kon.” Tim grinned and half hugged his clone boy.

“But that doesn’t mean I won’t kick their godly asses if they upset you.” Kon puffed again, feet rising a few inches off the ground. “You can tell them I’ll be watching out for that.”

“I’ll be sure to. Thanks for coming out to spend the day with me.”

“What are best friends for? But I still think you would have been better off with me if you wanted the best sex in the world.”

Tim’s only reply was a snort.

“Hey! Have you told _Him_ yet?”

“Who?”

“Daddy Bats!”

“Bruce?” Tim looked half horrified and half scared out of his wits. “No way!”

“What? Come on man, you gotta tell _Him_! What if Wonder Woman tells him congrats?”

“Oh god.”

Kon was grinning as Tim rubbed at his face and started swearing.

“Hey man… thanks for not letting the Sirens eat me.”

“Any time Kon.”


End file.
